I’ve lost count of how many I’ve written. This better be good.

Because of the context of using adverbs as nouns, I have bolded those words when they appear in that context.

Thinking about privilege, which I do more often than I let on, it came to me that one of the reasons it is so difficult and maddening to help certain of us understand the concept is that they individualize it. They are, in general, more comfortable as individuals than they are in groups. They take umbrage with what they consider to be a personal attack because they only respond to groups if they imagine they share every quality or when they share no qualities. It is hard for them to envision being a member of a group that has any great measure of diversity, such as being part of as group that is diverse, sharing a privilege that not everyone in the group acts on individually.

It is this part of their nature, be it learned or innate, that is being exploited by those who denigrate and outlaw DEI programs. Diversity has become a dirty word, not simply because they are averse to diversity themselves but because they have been sold a narrative that agrees with them about the nature of groups. They are told confirming information that groups are either completely good or completely bad . The narrative is filled with sordid exemplars of minorities getting unjust preferential treatment in hiring, housing, college admissions, etc. It reinforces the us versus them, sovereign citizen ideation.

An example (now here I go with exemplars) of this individualization is that so many of us react negatively to being told that America has a racist past. They need to make it clear, by immediately stating, loudly, that they are not racist. That’s not the issue. You don’t need to be a racist to belong to a group with the privilege of being a “right” race. Explaining this sort of privilege has always seemed very simple to me. That doesn’t make me a saint. Perhaps I’m an obsessive observer. I certainly get my share of blank stares when I talk about it.

In my world, privilege is always about what we are and not who we are. It’s that simple, but difficult. Making it complex is easy. I am a Caucasian male. That is what I am. I cannot change or alter that. I did not choose it. Any privilege it confers on me is none of my own, personal doing. I have male privilege because I am male and for no other reason. I am not singled out. All males have the same privilege I do, and they also did not choose it. Even trans men have male privilege, although it looks mighty diluted from here. Saying you can prove that not all men display male privilege will get no resistance from me. Some men choose not to take advantage of male privilege; others do. It can be very taxing to entertain this concept, but the fact remains that both using or not using privilege are there for the taking. 

The only requirement to have the advantages of male privilege or white privilege is to be what you are, male and/or white. Not all males choose to use their male privilege, but because they are male, they still have the privilege to use it if they wish. The defining characteristics of a what are that not just anyone else can be what that person is. The defining group is a closed group. Also, that person did not choose to be what they are. The thing that defines a who is that anyone can be any particular who at any time Whos are an open group. Being a who involves a personal choice.

Who we are involves a multitude of factors, the most prominent being that we, for the most part, choose who we are. Unless there are specific reasons we are not able to do or be something we can be whomever we desire. Anyone can be a teacher, lawyer, or butcher should they choose to become that and fulfill the requirements. Yes, lawyers get certain privileges that you and I do not, giving the appearance of a what. But, remember that anyone who passes the bar can be a lawyer. The privileges of the what of being a lawyer are a subset of who the lawyer is.

Privileges and privilege are different things. Privileges are things you can do that others are not allowed to. They are given to you by some worldly authority. Privileges can be taken away, and they can also be earned. A person has ‘privilege’ without it being given. You have it because you are something unique that only certain people can be. It is never earned and can never be taken away. You cannot change what you are. But you can change who you are. You could stop practicing law and become a scuba diving instructor anytime you so desire. But you cannot change the fact that you have type AB negative blood.

Many people become angry and defensive when it is said that there is systemic racism in America. They take it as an attack on their values without the ‘attacker’ knowing who they really are. They will deny being a racist and say you are a bad person for assuming they are. They feel this is accusatory and pigeonholes them as a bad person. They are sure they aren’t what you ‘say’ they are. It humiliates them and they won’t listen to another word you say.

This misunderstanding is significant. It happens largely because of that person’s troubles relating to groups. They feel better perceived as themselves, individually. When told there is systematic racism in America, they only hear that they are themselves being called racists, as individuals. They don’t clearly hear what was said, sometimes because the word racist triggers deep feelings, and they do not listen closely while influenced emotionally by the trigger. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with this. We all have emotional triggers from various sources. What is heard is that they are part of a group that is racist, and they are angry for being assumed to belong to that group as individuals. What they aren’t hearing is that in America, there is systematic racism and has been for centuries. If you are not a minority in America (read ‘white’) you have the privilege grated to you by very old racist systems.

Not everyone understands systemic racism. There are and have been for a long time, systems that are racist by nature, i.e. redlining, job and educational discrimination, accusations of immorality, assumptive judgements based entirely on privilege with no evidence. People who do not speak out against these things are considered by many to be complicit and as at fault as the actual perpetrators. This is true in one sense, but to be generous, most of those considered complicit either do not know that the racist entities are, in fact, racist. Or, they have accepted a culture that normalizes the racism as natural without critically questioning those cultural norms themselves. This does not let them off the hook in complicity. But it provides teachable moments for those who can approach them truthfully and respectfully. 

Taking advantage of teachable moments is perhaps the best means of combatting the privilege afforded by systemic racism. This is one of the main reasons that MAGA legislatures want to control education by removing incidences of and references to racism, as well as alternative sexual and gender stories and such references from textbooks and libraries, as well as other truths they don’t want their vulnerable children to know. Conservatives, in general, think human beings are evil by nature and must be saved from themselves. They are afraid of ideas. Ideas will corrupt their children. 

It is a reality that many who don’t understand, when given the facts about privilege with grace, humility, and respect, will open themselves up to learning. Teaching truths without proselytizing helps people understand that knowledge is power and not propaganda. Knowing that because Americans committed genocide and encouraged ownership of other humans centuries ago, it does not magically make one genocidal or racist in the here and now. Hasn’t anybody ever told these people that we can learn from our mistakes, regardless of how heinous?

Raising awareness of what privilege is and isn’t is a giant step in the direction of helping all of us improve our lives by appreciating both what we are and who we are, with clarity about the differences. It lets us know which of our behaviors and attitudes we are directly responsible for, and which we are indirectly responsible for in the here and now, both as individuals and in groups. It tells us how not to fear things we are not overtly responsible for but need to know and understand. 

The dynamics of human social interactions and emotional reactions are rarely simple to grasp with facility. But humans of all sorts are capable of understanding those things and looking upon their fellows with compassion for their faults, which are also our faults. Opportunity, empathy, and responsibility are values that everybody has access to. They are not weak traits as we are often told. Paving a path to the embrace of those values for those who are lost might be a thankless job. But more likely than not, there will come a time when somebody appears from a thicket of oaks and, looking around, opens their mouth and heart in awe of the power that comes from simply being human, and realizing that we are all human. Instinctual, absolute truths can and will instantly replace the relative, learned truths of their past. We can unlearn that which is learned but we can’t unwhat what we are.

We can and will shine.

It takes work.

But the brilliance of the light makes it worth the effort.